Browsing All Posts filed under »Uncategorized«

Fear the 79% / Why I Will Never Fly Again

December 15, 2011

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There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror. ~Orson Welles I am always concerned about, and occasionally terrified by, the people I meet on a day-to-day basis. Despite being usually pleasant, you can never be sure whether they are planning to kick a dog or set an old woman on fire. Occasionally, […]

Protected: Arse Over Tit Ltd. Volume 2

December 13, 2011

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Writer’s Block

December 5, 2011

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My foray into the world of blogging has hit a brick wall. Like everything I have ever attempted, I started with lofty ideas carefully crafted over many hours of tortuous editing and ended up with writers block trying to goad strangers on the internet into getting angry. They say to start with what you know, […]

Protected: Arse over Tit Ltd. Volume 1

November 30, 2011

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The Red Light Indicates that This is the End

November 29, 2011

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This week, I have been feeling thoroughly optimistic and up-beat about everything. I have irritated call centre staff by wishing them a good day and worried passers-by by smiling at them. Once I waved at an old lady walking her dog who almost set the bloody thing on me. Yes, I have been loving life. […]

The Day I Turned on Darwin

November 28, 2011

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The story you are about to read is true. Please bear in mind that under current UK legislation, these people are allowed to vote. Somewhere deep in the middle-class stronghold of Surbiton, I used to run a house. Amongst the perfectly manicured lawns and nosy neighbours, this house stands out like a stain on a […]

The Shredder

November 23, 2011

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We’re all young and idealistic once. For me, it lasted almost 2 hours after starting my first proper office job. I turned up fresh-faced and eager and was shown to my desk. It looked as though the last occupant had left in a bit of a hurry. After being left alone to “get accustomed”, I […]